By Frank Weber
Copyright ©2025
Right out of the blue, I ran into a guy from years ago.
I haven’t laid eyes on him in at least thirty-five years.
I recognized him before he recognized me.
Even still, he knew who I was.
It’s not that he remembered who I was, but he knew who I was.
And he seemed a little skittish.
It seemed strange.
We talked for a few minutes, and it was pretty easy to tell that there was something on his mind.
Finally, he just blurted out, “I’m a little scared to say to tell you this, but…I’m gay.”
He kept his eyes down as though he had done something wrong.
I said, “Well, you look like you’re happy…you doing good? everything going ok for you?”
He looked up a bit confused, but he still acted as though he got swatted with a stick.
He let out a sheepish smile and finally let out a relaxed breath.
“I am.”
“That’s great! We’re both still alive after all these years AND you’re happy, too. You can’t ask for much more than that!”
Now he looked more confused than before.
“What I said doesn’t bother you?”
“What? You mean about you being gay? Why would that bother me?”
“ ‘Cause…I follow your website and I read all of your posts. People like you usually…”
And I cut him off cold.
“WHO are people like me?”
“You know…Republicans. People that hate gay people.”
“WHERE IN THE FUCK DID YOU EVER GET AN IDEA LIKE THAT OUT OF WHAT I WRITE???”
“Well, you never came out and said it, but it’s no secret that Republicans hate the LGBTQ+. You’re a Republican, and the things you write about…they sound a lot like you’re talking about Democrats. The Democrats are the only ones trying to help us.”
All I could do was shake my head in disbelief.
“You really believe that’s how I feel about things? Are YOU happy? Yes? Then WHY would you EVER give two-shits about what ANYONE else has to say about your life? If you are genuinely happy and it makes you feel good, then that’s all you need. Feeling good is good enough.”
“Yeah, but it seems like Republicans don’t care about us and refuse to accept us as ‘who we are’ and you keep trying to push us down…and you’re a Republican, so…”
“So, NOTHING!” Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I don’t care what you do with your life. I don’t care what makes you happy, and neither should you! Don’t you think you’re being a little extreme about it?”
And as we talked more, he kept trying to go back to the same argument that he doesn’t feel accepted and it ‘hurts’.
“Did it ever occur to you that your being happy is NOT a mandate for the rest of the world to accept what you do? If it makes you happy, then great! If you’re not breaking the law and you’re not out to hurt anyone else, then DO IT! But don’t make the mistake of believing that everyone else in the free-speaking world is required to rally around you and ignore how they feel about it.”
Awkward silence.
“Yeah, but…”
I had to cut him off to remind him of an episode from way back when we were just out of school, already hanging out in bars. I’ll never forget this episode as long as I live, but apparently he had.
“You remember a guy named Mitchell from High School? You remember the night we saw him out with a couple of girls in the bar? Do you remember that?”
He smiled and laughed a little.
“Yeah”, he said nodding, “I remember that.”
“Mitchell sat there prodding with me questions about everything under then sun that had nothing to do about anything until I finally told him to ‘take a break for a minute’. I got tired of him trying to debate his ‘college’ issues because not one of us cared about it. He sat back and smugly barked ‘You just don’t like me because I’m gay.’”
“Now you and I both know that, even though we all suspected he was gay, no one knew for sure…and not one of us ever gave shit if he was! Not even YOU!”
He nodded.
I told Mitchell point-blank, “It’s got nothing to do with you being gay. It’s got everything to do with the fact that you’re bugging the hell out of me and you’re ruining the night for me! Quit being a jerk!”
“Yeah…I remember that. And he shut right up, too.”
“Have you ever heard me talk bad about anyone for being gay…or doing whatever? I’m not talking about guys razzing each other. I’m talking about the kind of thing you just accused me of doing…that hateful shit!”
“No.”
“Then WHY would you ever be afraid to tell me about it? It obviously means one hell of a lot to you for you to even bring it up after all these years, right? Like I said, I’m happy for you! But don’t think I’m somehow a radical because I don’t wave a flag in honor of your being gay. You’re doing the same thing you just accused me of doing to you!
Be what you want to be and do what you want to do. Don’t break the law and don’t hurt anyone when you do it. Be happy. But remember that NO ONE else in this world owes you anything for it. I think it’s a great accomplishment! Damn, Son! You still got balls made of granite! But none of that changes the fact that I do not give a shit about what you do. That does NOT make me a radical or a horrible person.
We all have the right to be happy and do whatever it is that makes us happy, but if the thing that makes you happy is different than other people, those other people are NOT obliged to blindly accept it. You need to remember that!”
“Yeah…ok…but I still think with everything I’ve seen and everything I’ve been told…”
And now I cut him off for the last time.
“I’m not getting through to you, am I? Well, hey…it was great seeing you again! I hope all goes well for you! You know how to get ahold of me…let’s go grab a couple beers one of these days…just like when we were kids.”
He didn’t say anything, just shrugged and kept his mouth shut.
I waved to him as I turned to walk away, but he would no longer make eye contact, and he just started walking. And so did I.
I don’t expect that I’ll see him again in this life, but that’s how it goes with old friends.
They come and go for so many reasons.
Sometimes, you never even find out why it happens, but it does.
Yes, I still consider him my friend.
I always will.
I get the feeling he no longer does or that he will anymore.
Life sucks that way.
What can you do?
To him in that moment, and just like that, I was wrapped up in a convenient package that didn’t have to opened – in his eyes – to understand. Apparently, he had already learned all he needed to know about me…and he didn’t want to hear anything to the contrary.
I do sincerely hope the best for him and I do sincerely hope that he really did find his happiness.
But it sure doesn’t sound like he’s as happy as he made out…he sounds like he’s preventing himself from being happy – all on his own.
And then I thought to myself, “Who gives a shit what I have to say about anything, anyway? I’ve always been opinionated. Everyone knows that. It doesn’t mean I hate on the rest of the world if they see it differently from me.”
But none of any of that ever really matters.
Feeling good should just be goddamn well good enough.
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