By Frank Weber
Copyright ©2024
First off, let me thank the movie Clueless for this bit of celluloid wisdom, because this is a direct quote from it. And it is a most profound lesson for life.
Tolerance is not only a good lesson it is also the best of all possible ways to interact with the folks around us. It lends itself to free-flowing speech and discussion between people, in particular those that may disagree with each other. It makes sure that all views are explained and heard and not just brushed away like so many crumbs from a table.
Tolerance will not always bring people into your fold, but it will always provide for honest dialogues. I can only imagine what such dialogues could create!
This quality is infinitely more valuable in life than a legion of blind followers ever will be.
You don’t have to agree with anything that anyone else ever says or believes, but if you ever expect to have your own views heard – and better yet, respected – you had better exercise a little tolerance.
If you show little or no tolerance for a differing opinion, you not only risk being instantly shut-down when you start to talk, you will most likely be ignored outright.
In other words, your blind approach to others can and will be revisited upon you due to your lack of tolerance.
I don’t want people around me that will blindly agree with my views and never question me. At the same time, I have no desire to waste my time with someone that refuses to give a grounded opinion and only rants against me because I disagree.
I can’t say it enough…“Don’t yell at me that I’m wrong. Make an attempt to convince me and you might just change my mind.”
Who in their right mind would want to talk with someone that blocks every attempted word out of fear that it might conflict with what they believe? With someone that refuses to even acknowledge a view and opinion on the sole basis that it differs and is therefore, by that definition, utterly wrong and unfounded? Not many.
It’s been my personal experience that this brand of thinking is fearful of only one thing – that their ‘doctrine’ might be proven wrong, or at the very least, points could be raised that might call their ‘doctrine’ into question. A lot of folks tend to make every effort to stay rooted where they are in vehement opposition to the very thought of admitting they might be wrong.
Again, if you disagree with what I say, then prove me wrong. Don’t yell at me and tell me that I’m ignorant because I conflict with your beliefs.” It’s never far from the realm of possibility for my mind and position to change given as-of-yet-unseen evidence contrary to my opinion. Evidence – in any form it may take – can and will change my way of thinking, if only it’s offered. Too often, though, so many people are too damn quick to vilify and condemn a contrary view, opinion or position, along with the person that speaks it solely because it disagrees with what they have come to believe.
The stream actually flows both ways, though. How can you ever hope to sway me to your opinion if you refuse to substantiate your opinion – and – how can you ever hope to learn anything for yourself if you refuse to analyze any view that might make you uncomfortable? I tend to harbor suspicions for those that utterly refuse to explain their view, and choose only to condemn the contrary. In my opinion, it demonstrates nothing but a one-sided, opportunistic and programmed approach to the world.
I, for one, believe that each and every one of us should always think for ourselves.
It’s not a lofty or pretentious opinion or approach to life.
Rather it is a practical approach that works only to secure the happiness that we all seek.
Who is better equipped to decide how you can best live your life? You or someone else that tells you they know what’s best for you?
Realistically speaking, why should anyone ever blindly surrender their own happiness at the direction of someone so far removed from their everyday life, wants and needs simply because they say they ‘know what’s best’?
No one ever should.
If you think it all out for yourself, you will believe in what you follow. It’s as simple as that.
Then – believe it or not – it won’t bother you that someone else holds a contrary opinion. You will have confirmed your position by way of your own thought and research and opinion. But let’s not forget, that a valuable benefit to ‘thinking for yourself’ is the inherent tolerance that comes with it. Why? Because, whether you realize it or not, in thinking it all through for yourself, you tend to open doors that would otherwise be avoided, and those uncomfortable questions and doubts will already be ingrained in your opinion. Simply put, you tend to be much more tolerant because you’ve already seen the differing points of view, and you can more readily understand why others may hold them.
And now that I’ve said my piece and this writing is at its end, what is your first thought?
Was it, “I can’t believe Frank won’t just accept things the way they are!” or was it, “Hmmmm”?
The answer to that question should be telling…even if it did ‘come out of nowhere’.
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